Mindful matters: power of positivity #2

Goodness me, is it February already? Where does the time go?

The word February is taken from the Latin word ‘Februa’, meaning ‘to cleanse’. The Roman calendar month of Februarias was named for Februalia, a festival of purification and atonement.

With this in mind, it’s my intention this month to help you cleanse your mind of all negative thoughts and help you atone for any mistakes you made in the previous 12 months with the aim of helping you move forward.

If we were to verbalise all the negative self-talk that we give ourselves each day and directed it at someone else, we’d most likely be arrested – so why is it that we think it’s ok to talk like this to ourselves?

The main focus of this month’s column will be how we can move away from living our lives on autopilot and check in with ourselves regularly. This way we can start to change the negative habits and conversations we have with ourselves and move them towards gratitude, love and positivity.

Setting Your Standards

While we know what goals are and how to set them, not many people know what their standards are, or how to use them to their benefit.

Without having your standards in place, it’s almost impossible to become the best ‘you’ that you can be. Once you’ve clearly defined the person you want to become, working towards your ideal self becomes much easier.

 Standards can include concepts such as:

• What traits would you like to have?
• How would you like to behave?
• What would give you self-respect?
• How would you like to treat yourself?
• How would you like to treat others?
• What sort of physical health would you like to have?

By clearly stating your ‘self standards’, you set a clear precedent for yourself to follow and live up to. Once you’ve defined the kind of person you want to be, working towards becoming your best self becomes much easier.

I recommend you make a list of your ‘self standards’ and refer back to it often, to remind yourself of what you’re trying to accomplish.

Loving Language

The way that we speak to and about ourselves and the inner dialogue that we have is so important. A negative inner dialogue creates a harsh mental environment, as well as being totally unnecessary.

By changing the way you speak to yourself, you can immediately feel a positive improvement in how you feel.

Think about some of the phrases we use to speak to ourselves and look at alternatives…

• ‘I have to’ – changes to – ‘I get to’ – try to feel grateful for opportunities and things to do.
• ‘I can’t do this’ – changes to – ‘I still need to learn’ – because you are more than capable.
• ‘I give up’ – changes to – ‘I’ll try again’ – allow yourself to take a rest, recoup and try again.
• ‘I’m sorry’ – changes to – ‘Thank you’ – stop making excuses and be grateful.

Today I Can

Here are some ideas for ways that you can change your way of thinking to have a more positive outlook on life:

• Today I can complain about my health, or I can celebrate being alive.
• Today I can moan that it’s raining, or be joyful for all that grows from the rain.
• Today I can regret all I don’t have, or rejoice in everything I do.
• Today I can mourn everything I have lost, or eagerly anticipate what’s to come.
• Today I can complain that I have to work, or celebrate having a job to go to.
• Today I can resent the mess the kids make, or give thanks that I have a family.
• Today I can whine about the housework, or celebrate having a home.
• Today I can cry over the people who don’t care for me, or be happy being loved by those who do.

As February is the month of love, with Valentines Day just around the corner, I hope you’re feeling inspired to understand that SELF LOVE is the most important love of all.

It’s not selfish to put yourself first. As nail and beauty therapists, you convince yourself every day that it’s all about your clients and often forget to make time for yourself.

Self-care can be anything that relates to looking after yourself. It can include personal hygiene, social activities, alone time, healthy diet, exercise, hobbies – anything that helps you feel better in yourself.

Self-care and self-love are different. Self-care shows how you look after yourself; self-love refers to the love and respect that you have for yourself.

Have a think about what self-care means to you; make a list of how you want to treat yourself, where you want your life to go and make sure you take time each day to implement these into your life.

MEET Dave Heffernan

Dave Heffernan is a one-of-a-kind coach, speaker and mental health guru. Dave works with corporates and individuals to create awareness, end stigma and educate.

Described as a pioneer for mental health and wellness, Dave has launched programmes to support mental health in the workplace and to create positive, forward-thinking environments that employees enjoy working in.

Dave’s background story is one of a kind; born in Salford, he dealt with extraordinary life issues – death, grief, abuse, homelessness, violence; but this didn’t hold him back, in fact, it created the momentum and passion that Dave spreads today. As an expert in mental health, Dave has moved from the raw, real-life issues that he’s faced, to helping other’s face theirs.